Sach ka Samna !!!!!

I am sitting in front of a person who asks me such questions to which neither I have an answer nor I am able to answer. I endlessly think on these questions... but I will have a forcible exit from my thinking/analyzing world and I come out with N LEMMA(like  Dilemma). Mixed feelings torture me. These are the questions haunt answers out of me.

1. What do you really want in your life?

2. What do you do if you fall in love after marriage?

     a. Would you think of your life and go selfish?

                       or

     b. Would you sacrifice your life for your family?

3. What would you like to choose? 

     a. Death  or  b.Life

4. Whom do you want in your life till your death?

5. What is Good & Sane? What is Bad & Insane?

6. Do you think you deserve to forgive anybody?

and so on..........

I am scared, confused, almost to cry.... I think....."Why people have so many things to think? Why people cannot live as they had thought?"........Goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Leave meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

I quit....I leave the game...

I earned zero money.

Surprising thing was, how did the host ask me so many questions without me answering any?!!!

Then, I realize... the host was MEERA!!!!!!!

I remember a song..... "Kabhi Kabhi Mere Dil Mein, Khayaal Aata Hai" .... Ofcourse, the first line only.

:) ,

Meera

A heart felt thank you

Anisutide yaako indu............a background haunting music did not allow me to sleep today. It just took me to a different nostalgic world. I remembered a clip of the movie 'Dil Chahta Hai' where our hero goes back to his past and travels to his present to find his loved one. Its like moving in bullet train and stopping on characters who are in heart. I just felt the same and sincerely I have a handful of people whom I want to hug and just hug and say how much 'I LOVE THEM'............Tears rolled out....and of course 2 or 3 people whom I never ever wanna see in my life time.

Here, I present those buggers(Read it as BUGGERS only-with full of love) who have got into , deeeeeep into my heart that even if I wish also ... I can't take them out.... They made 'MY THE DAY'... I don't know.. I just can't imagine how my marriage would have happened without these BUGGERS. They were 'PRESENT' for me and just for me. I still don't understand what have I done to them that they all were 'MINE' to make my day. I sometimes think that "AM I WORTH" for the relationship that they share with me. My family were stunned to believe that I had such a lovely Friend Circle. My fingers were no longer ready to wait to put down the words that I feel for them.... and tears tooo.......... all happy tears.... No words to express what I am feeling now.. Just wanna put one small sentence of each.

Straight from Heart

   Its so difficult without DAD. I lost him before I realize the value of  DAD. But now....though I used to feel that MOM can never become DAD.. that was materialistic. I realized it as a fact when I started preparations for my marriage. I am missing him in each tiny step I keep.

   Its an irony that elders say 'Organize a marriage, Build a house' = 'Maduve maadi nodu, Mane katti nodu' in kannada. It takes our lives out. Sad thing is , I am the key responsible person for everything wrt  my marriage , from Mantapa to Marriage,Gifts to Garlands,Tea to Travel, Jewels to Jaggery, Purohit to People, Cards to Cardamoms...................... Meera before marriage to Meera after marriage :). May be I am one among those few girls who walk around by setting things right in their own marriages. I am proud to say that my MOM has brought me up to become 'Bold & Beautiful'. At the same time, in some corner I cry that I can never become an ordinary girl who can enjoy all the moments of her marriage. For a girl, Marriage is the D day for which she would have dreamt for years. But I fear. Its really hard to imagine that her responsibilities and her dreams give a contradictory scene of her marriage. I am now in a confused state to make a trade off between my strong dreams which I was seeing from years and my hard responsible reality.

   Most of my friends think I am a 'Strong Lady' , 'Bold Girl' , '21 Century Female' and so on.......... probably they would not have realized that there is a simple little girl behind, who will still dream/think like any other girl apart from realities. It hurts when I feel helpless. I feel helpless when I cannot find an alternate. I am badly stressed out of workaholic environment and responsibilities. But, I felt depressed when I did not find a shoulder to lean my head and just cry. I felt lonely when there was nobody to say "ALL IS  WELL". I am not just getting my friends' time to share my feelings...That's where I start to write. I just have reached a state which is making me remain SILENT. Me.. Silent !!!!??? Can you imagine? Expectation reduces Joy......I expected my friends to call me back and just ask how are you feeling? I cannot blame them.. they are equally busy as I am. Worst thing is I want to cry ..but tears are not coming out. I am just feeling " Why don't my dad come back and take away all my grievances?"... Reality calls me back.

   Hey hey.. Wait....I am not the one who accept the defeat so easily..... I have full of attitude to say...."I CAN HANDLE THIS" and I Do.

Smiles,

Meera